Not Quite a Fairytale
by Sarah1281
Summary: Everyone expects an imprint to eventually end up with the man who imprinted on them but Claire finds that she can't force feelings that aren't there. She has no idea what Quil wants from her or how he'll react but she knows she needs to tell him soon.


Not Quite a Fairytale

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Love at first sight.

Not everyone believes in this concept but I think that it's generally agreed upon that it's a _very_ romantic idea. It may not always be a good thing if one of the pair is married or if the chances of running into each other again is low but somehow that almost seems to add to the romance.

I guess that I believe in love at first sight. I know enough people that it's happened to not be a skeptic, after all. It's even happened to me, in a way. Oh, I've never looked at a perfect stranger and just suddenly _knew_ but someone looked at me once and his whole life changed.

Maybe it's just because I've never experienced it but I honestly don't see the appeal of a love-at-first-sight type of situation. There's just too much potential for disappointment, really. What if it only happens to one party and the other is flattered but not interested? Or worse, they're really creeped out by this total stranger proclaiming their undying love? And even if it's mutual, they still know virtually nothing about the other. If they're free to start a relationship then it could just as easily become a train wreck as a fairytale. There's a reason that 'sometimes love isn't enough' is such a cliché, after all.

Even little kids get in on the action when they meet someone – their own age or otherwise – and solemnly declare that they intend to marry them one day. The kids really don't know what they're talking about so it's cute. I'm _told_ that when I was in second grade I used to play 'marry time' with this kid in my class named Eric which basically consisted of me literally chasing him all over the playground. I say 'I'm told' as I steadfastly refuse to admit that this happened no matter how many assurances I get from how many people – Eric included – that it did.

When someone has a love-at-first-sight moment with, say, a two-year-old then it's generally assumed that this person is in the single-digits themselves and not, oh I don't know, sixteen.

Perhaps I'm oversimplifying it a bit. Jacob insists that it's not _really_ love at first sight and since Jared knew Kim for ages before he phased and only imprinted the first time he saw her afterwards, I suppose that there's truth in that.

Instead, Jacob described it as being like gravity. The guy (or Leah if she ever imprints) sees their imprint and then their whole world revolves around that person. That's less disturbing than anyone falling in love with a toddler but not any less worrying. It's a lot of responsibility, you know, being the center of someone's universe. Their happiness is all wrapped up in you and there really is no one else when you're in the room. No one else compares. Sure, from what I can tell there's nothing you can do short of rejecting them outright that would disappoint them but that doesn't mean that I want to end up abusing the power I have over Quil. I would never do this deliberately but that doesn't mean that it can't happen accidentally.

Everyone swears up and down that Quil was never interested in me that way when I was younger and I believe them. Just the same, I'm not a little girl anymore. Thus, my dilemma. I love Quil, I really do. How could I not? Since before I can remember, he's always been there for me. He's never pressured me and all he wants is for me to be happy. I've known him long enough to be well-aware of his faults but where I'm concerned he's the perfect man.

He's been absolutely devoted to me for as long as I can remember. He was eager to spend as much time with me as possible from the start. Some of my earliest memories are of Quil baby-sitting me. He let me put princess makeup on him and had I been any younger he might have changed my diaper.

Quil might have looked perpetually twenty-five but that's actually part of the problem. As strange as it would be if he actually looked his thirty-two years, he looks the same as he always did, the same as he did when I was a child. We may be getting closer in physical age and he may be one of my closest friends but he's still sort of the adult to my child.

Quil is not my age, he's nearly a decade and a half older than me and I can't escape that. I know that May-December romances are as common as anything (particularly when the male is the older party, my cynical side is quick to note) and everyone says that there's nothing wrong with them. That I shouldn't let his age stop me from being happy with him.

That makes sense. The problem is…well, you know that old saying 'the heart wants what the heart wants'? I've always hated it but, annoying as it may be, it really applies here. The fact of the matter is that I – and my heart – _don't_ want Quil. There. I said it. Maybe it's his part in raising me, maybe it's the fact he's been almost obsessed with me since I was a toddler, maybe there just isn't any spark. Whatever the reason, that truth remains.

This might be a problem. I say 'might' because I honestly don't know. The person who imprints on you is supposed to be whatever you need, be it brother, best friend, boyfriend...whatever. Just the same, it's generally expected for the imprint and imprinter to wind up together even if it doesn't always happen. Jacob never did date Nessie (to the relief of everyone except maybe Nessie's parents) but since she's a half-vampire people think that might have something to do with it and not that it's indicative of the possibility for platonic imprints.

I'll admit that there doesn't seem to be much of a point to imprinting if the pair doesn't end up together (except in Jacob's case where his imprint stopped a war) but then I don't really see much of a point in imprinting anyway. I think I hate imprinting, actually, for all that I wouldn't trade having Quil in my life growing up for anything and he wouldn't have been interested in the niece of the girlfriend and later wife of a friend of his without being forced to be.

Why remove the werewolf's choice in the matter? It really does seem like he has no choice no matter what Jacob managed to do since from what I can tell that was quite an ordeal on his part. I guess the imprint still has a choice but with all the guarantees of eternal love and devotion plus the unspoken expectation from everyone that you'll end up with the man who imprinted on you, I can see why most people would choose to go along with it.

The problem is, I have no intention of just going along with it. I have no idea why I'm the rare imprint who just isn't interested. I don't really see myself as anything unique or defiant, I just can't think of Quil that way. It might have something to do with the fact that unlike most people, I met the man who imprinted on me at a very young age instead of when I could have started dating him immediately had I wanted to. Maybe had I just met Quil recently I'd be far more receptive to the idea of a relationship with him. Big brother figure or not, I can still see that he's very good-looking and he's just so great that had he not been so firmly in the friend zone I can see myself going for it.

Since the one who imprints on you is supposed to be whatever you want or need him to be, does the fact that I neither desire or have a need for his romantic love mean that Quil doesn't see me that way? How does that work? Would he psychically _know_ that I don't see him that way and not be attracted in return or does he have to consciously know and his feelings would turn on or off depending on my own? That just sounds so artificial and a little mind-control-y. Definitely not something I'm comfortable with.

I'd be less concerned if it hadn't been for Quil's complete and utter lack of a love life. Everyone – and I do mean _everyone_ – expected that Quil and I would end up together one day after he first imprinted. Still, even if I were in favor of this it would still be years and years away so people suggested that he date other people in the meantime even if he could never end up with any of them. He declined. Again and again, he's turned down whatever offers have come his way.

Quil hasn't been on a date since the moment he first met me. How am I supposed to look at that and think that he's not expecting something from me? He may never pressure me but I don't want him to end up alone just because I can't be his girlfriend.

I've never had a boyfriend, either. I'm eighteen now I'm the only one of my friends who hasn't. It's not that I haven't been interested, I just didn't think it was worth whatever reactions I'd get. I wasn't ready to deal with any backlash but now that I'm eighteen I have to stop stalling.

Before I date anyone, I feel that I at least owe it to Quil to tell him that he and I will never be together that way. Maybe it will hurt him. I hope it won't but it has to be done. Maybe once he knows he can move on with his life and find someone who can actually love him. Jacob managed it, after all.

This isn't the kind of thing that I can tell Quil over the phone or through a text. It has to be face-to-face but I'm really nervous about this meeting. I've never been scared of Quil before because I know he'd die for me in a heartbeat but…Uncle Sam imprinted on Aunt Emily and would never hurt her but he did. She still has that scar he gave her when he lost control of his temper when she was standing too close to him. It's all well and good that he still hasn't forgiven himself but that doesn't change what happened.

If I tell Quil and he reacts badly…phasing and accidentally injuring or even killing me would only take a second. It wouldn't even be his fault, really, but it wouldn't do him any favors and it certainly wouldn't do me any.

That's why I talked to Leah before I actually called Quil over and she agreed to stay, just in case. I don't think she'll be needed – I certainly hope not – but I have to be careful. While I'd feel guilty for not having faith in him if he takes the news fine or is upset but doesn't phase, I'd rather risk that then be wrong about needing her and having to face down an out-of-control werewolf by myself.

Leah understands more than anyone the problems imprinting can cause. She hates it more than me and I don't think she's completely forgiven Aunt Emily and Uncle Sam for what happened yet. She certainly takes a strange sort of pride in the fact that Jacob chose her over his own imprint for all I don't think that Jacob would have ended up with Nessie regardless.

Quil walks into the room them, looking a little confused to see Leah. I wish this could be private and I know he will, too, once he understands what's going on but I can't take that risk. "What's going on?" he asked me, the genuine concern in his voice like daggers to my heart.

I can't do this. I have to.

"Quil, we need to talk."

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